Never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence
Well, Skidplate finally got her bike back!
To celebrate we are going to ride around lake Erie. Right now we are in Erie, PA eating gourmet pizza. Dont know how that will turn out because I dont like people doing wierd things with pizza.
I will try to update through the week but it is hella expensive to use the cell phone in Canada.
You know people, I added the texting feature so you people could send me important messages. Since adding this feature I have not got any important messages. All day today I have been getting messages like this: “Shouldn’t you be home washing dishes?”.
No, I shouldn’t be! I am at the Honda Homecoming. I do this for those of you who are stuck at work so you can live through me. So now I am warning everyone: Quit fooling with the text feature!!!!!!!
It was a great night for bike night. Clear skies and cool but comfortable weather. There was another huge turnout in Austintown. I think this is becoming the most popular bike night in the area.
Here is Dan. He figures if he wears this crazy hat the chicks will think he is French and that will attract them. I doubt if his system will work.
Holy crap. It seems to be working. She has no idea he is not French. I really doubt he will get any more action.
Cheerleaders? I mean, I turn my back on this guy for one minute and there he is hound dogging more women.
“Yes, I would like to buy a calendar. I have been having such a hard time keeping track of the days, so this will be a great help! I am so glad you cheerleaders showed up a bike night tonight!”
This dude is just pathetic now. He buys a $10 calendar just so the cheerleaders will talk to him.
Holy crap. More of these guys reaching into their pockets to buy calendars. What that crap? Do these guys even know how to read a calendar? Really, it is just pathetic.
Look how happy the simple man is. “Take my picture! Take my picture!” he is screaming. How sad it all is.
Thats right. Now the other one starts with the whole “Take my picture” thing. At least Mark got her to put her hand on his ass. Dan did not get any of that action.
Once again, I have never seen a man so happy about the purchase of a calendar. The pictures really don’t do justice. To see this whole event in person was almost enough to make me puke. These dudes are flat out sad.
Look at me! I know what day it is!
The cheerleaders ran out of interest with them both when they found out found out that Dan and Mark were out of money, so it was time for Dan to move on to his next victim. She was pretty nice and was passing out fliers for the Teamsters Poker Run to benefit the Rescue Mission. So now Dan says if you pose for a picture with me my friend Tank will post your poker run on his web site. She seems unimpressed, so then he lies and says that I am world famous and stuff so she reluctantly poses for a picture with him. This means that he has pretty much turned me into his pimp, and it makes me feel dirty inside.
Click here for more information on the poker run.
By now I am thinking this guy is tired of chasing women around and the next thing I know he is saying “Take my picture” again! This guy is just a male slut. I mean he is totally out of control. I guess women really do like guys from France. And guys who buy calendars.
I hate cruise control.
Ok, maybe I don’t hate cruise control. Maybe I just hate the people who use cruise control.
I know what you are saying. You are saying, “Tank, I know you have the bird flu and it is making you cranky. You don’t really hate people who use cruise control”.
Yes, I do have a very nasty case of the bird flu that would put an ordinary man into the hospital, but I really, honestly hate people who use cruise control.
There should be no way for me to detect if a person is using cruise control or not. This feature on someone else’s vehicle should not affect me in any way. Unfortunately, many times it is obvious to me who is using cruise control as I am riding down the road, and here is how I can tell.
Lazy people use cruise control. I am a lazy person myself, so I am not hating because they are lazy. The problem with them is when they are traveling down the freeway and come upon another vehicle that is moving 1/8 of a mile per hour slower than they are. Instead of shutting off the cruise control, speeding up, passing them, and then returning to their regular speed they simply pull into the passing lane to pass the car that is going 1/8 of 1 mile per hour slower than they are. This makes their passing speed .125 mph. This converts to .18 feet per second. Lets say this guy pulls into the passing lane while he is 30 feet behind the car he wants to overtake, and the car is 20 feet long, then he waits until he is 30 feet ahead of the overtaken car before getting out of the passing lane. This means he needs to travel 80 feet at .18 feet per second. Simple math tells you I am going to be waiting behind him for about 444 seconds, or roughly 7 and a half minutes.
Ok, so whats the big hurry? 7 minutes? Does it really matter?
No, it really would not if that was the only guy on the road doing it. I am constantly getting stuck behind people doing this, and it is starting to make me crazy. I mean, can these people see the line of traffic a mile long that is stuck behind them? Do they care? Are these people stupid?
I think I am going to write a letter to each of the Presidential candidates to see how they feel about this issue.
I will be sure to let everyone know the response.
